Fearsome Foe with a Phony Facade:

Javier Bardem in "Skyfall"

Is Bardem's Bond Baddie Blemish-Free? Think again...
Bond villains are not known for perfect skin.  In fact, the enemies of 007 represent a veritable dermatology textbook of disorders.  Take a look for yourself:

Zorin, "A View to a Kill"
Trevelyan in "GoldenEye"
Blofeld, "You Only Live Twice"
Zao, "Die Another Day"
Bald, scarred
Bald, albino, and scarred

So imagine our surprise to see Javier Bardem’s initial take as former MI6 ally Silva in “Skyfall.” Though his blond locks suggest albinism, this reflects overzealous use of peroxide hair bleaching, not a genetic loss of pigment. His skin looks quite good, no scarring, body art or bald patches.  Not even a speck of dandruff.  Are the producers going to rely on Bardem’s epic acting chops to convince the audience of his evil ways? If you can’t see where this is headed and haven’t yet seen “Skyfall,” by all means watch out—SPOILER ahead:

When confronting Dame Judi Dench’s “M”, Bardem admits that he attempted suicide by gnawing on a cyanide pellet. 
Somehow, he survived, but the poison melted his jaw.  He then removes what appears to be a high end night guard-style retainer and voila!
His face is actually messed up.  Whew! No wonder he's so cranky! Glad we cleared that up.

With the “bad skin = bad morals” formula intact, Bond film #23 can proceed with implausible battle scenes and explosions. Because of trauma, birth defects or just bad luck, some develop facial defects.  Surgery can used to minimize this, but establishing symmetric “normal”-appearing features is exceedingly difficult.  We realize that movies are a visual medium, but studios don’t have to consistently rely on the stereotypical dastardly deformed dude.  There are subtler ways to make a film-goer shaken and stirred.


Runner Up, Fearsome Foe with a Phony Facade:
King Candy in “Wreck It Ralph”

In the videogame spoof, “Wreck It Ralph”, King Candy appears the benevolent ruler within the game “Sugar Rush.”  It is eventually revealed that he is actually Turbo, a maniacal racer who took over “Sugar Rush” when his own game was terminated.  Candy has a reasonable appearance, but Turbo’s style is more spook than kook: skull-like, with glowing eyes and teeth. Turbo’s agent may want to contact the Bond producers for installment #24!


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